Sometimes I don’t know what to say. That is very discouraging to me because there are so many things that happen throughout the. I don’t know sometimes I have so many things to say. When I get in front of the computer my mind goes blank. Then there are times like this when I don’t have anything to say. If it looks like I’m not trying or not putting enough effort or energy into it; I tell you I am putting effort into it but my mind is blank right now. Have you ever had that feeling like you had something to say, but could'nt think of it.. Remember to
I feel life is about the ability to accept change and responsibility. Now is the time I accept what I’ve done. Not only did I fail myself, I failed one of the most important people in my life. I failed my mother. When I saw the look on her face and felt the disappointment radiate off of her I cried for the first time in a while. I don’t know exactly what it was, but when I saw the look on her face and heard the change in her voice I couldn’t help it.It crushed my heart.
This week has been a great week for a change. This is the first week that has gone by smoothly in a long time. I didn’t get angry with anyone; I didn’t have to go off on anyone and except for a few minor issues that didn’t involve me directly; I’ve had a great week. I don’t know what it was about this week, but it seems that it just went by so quickly it’s like I took one breath and it was over. I guess that’s what happens when everything is so quiet and you’re having an awesome time.
Today was the first day that my school attempted to do anything to do for black history month. It was sad. Nobody really paid attention to the documentary. One would think that a documentary with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in it and some other basketball greats would have drawn much attention. That leads me to my next statement. This is a statement that I made to one of my teachers while we were watching the documentary in the gym. “History is a prelude to your future”. It was a statement made out of anger but as I thought about it I saw some truth to it. How do you feel about the statement?
We are at the mid point of our school year here in Newark. And now here I am at a point of evaluation. This is the time I put to work all the months of repetitive number sequences and see if I really learned anything. And as it turns out I did. I like the feeling of self-actualization. You know that feeling that you get after there’s something you feel unconfident about, but as it turns out you did well. I don’t think I’m the only one with this kind of experience. So if you have similar experiences feel free to share.
*Be the change you want to see*
I’m going to quote a song by Fred Hammond. There are times in my life when things don't work out right and my burdens are heavy there’s no joy in sight. Put my eyes back on you; for you’ve always come through .You've been good to me. You made the way I could not see your love came in and lifted me. Thank you I won't complain. Life can present itself as a problem sometime and it can be hard to find answers. You may find yourself feeling like you are on the outside looking in. Even I sometimes find myself feeling that way.
Today was a tough day for me. During lunch I got into an altercation with another student. So the kid slapped me I slapped him back. Then he tried to shove me but I managed to maneuver and throw him on the table. Then he pushed me away then I really got angry and was about to throw him over the table but when he was about three inches off the ground I pulled him back. We fell on the ground and with me knee in his chest I was going to finish it, but that’s when security broke it up. I didn’t get suspended because there were witnesses that said I was defending myself.
All is well with me. As you may know I try to keep the entries short. I’m a person of few words and I always try to keep things short and direct. One thing I hate is prolonged lectures that seem to last forever but are so repetitive. Like in my history class. We’ve covered the same thing for the last week and it like the teacher wants to move on but cant. Also what we’re covering should have learned in like seventh grade. By now we should be past ww1. One thing I hate is not being challenged in school and it seems that my history class is a waste of time.